Hopefull Phoenix

Oh Fun.... yet another day of the job search. Draining, truly it is. So much that I had to get out of the house and drive around a bit. Starbucks? No, the point was simply to blow off steam and stretch the old legs a bit as grandpa would say. I actually love Christmas time at the stores when there aren't crowds. Which there weren't A.n.y.w.h.e.r.e! NOOOO, I didn't buy anything. having a Super Strict Budget comes in handy sometimes. I'm trying to keep a positive spin on this! Simply strolled around the sweater and deco areas, called a few friends then like a good girl, took my sorry a@@ home.... See? I CAN be good Santa! How many more days til I can get a paycheck and start Christmas shopping?

I'm in a poetic mood today. Been reading an interesting book, "Poetry as Spiritual Practice". It has little exercises inside just like the creative writing classes I had in school soooo long ago. Don't ask when, I really don't like to think about the years.. anyway. I have created a little poem for my mom. We've had our ups and downs and now we're talking and getting along at a time when the rest of my life is falling apart. Is that intentional? Does life only let so many aspects go well at a time? It really appears that way. At any rate, I am so thankful she is back in my life. And so, here it is: And it's mine, so if you copy it, credit me properly.... thanks! Karma will get you... It really will!!! Arrgh argghhh... The Gift I live my life without my father Guiding my way through life’s door. In place God has given me a loving mother To heal the heart that father has tore. Her love blows forth like an Ocean Breeze Lightens my heart which anger heats...

Why did I even open the box in the first place? I woke up in a blah mood. The kind which can keep my in bed for the entire day at times. So sad I know, but I'm still having depression flashbacks. Anyhoo, after I had a few welcome sips of my coffee and attempt at meditation, I had the idea of hanging a frame I finished last night. Only one problem, I didn't have a picture to go inside. That started it all. Two photo albums later, I still couldn't find anything large enough or worthy enough to go inside, so I did the next obvious thing- started going through my old sketches and paintings. I sooo should have known better! This involved the better part of 20 minutes down memory lane- 2 exes, various moods, and then it hit me- I needed to get into a certain box for a picture I was certain was inside. Yeah, right. Brilliant idea! Problem with that? Said box was bricked up under my "side Table" next to the sofa. Don't think this is a problem? w...