Hopefull Phoenix

Oh Fun.... yet another day of the job search. Draining, truly it is. So much that I had to get out of the house and drive around a bit. Starbucks? No, the point was simply to blow off steam and stretch the old legs a bit as grandpa would say. I actually love Christmas time at the stores when there aren't crowds. Which there weren't A.n.y.w.h.e.r.e! NOOOO, I didn't buy anything. having a Super Strict Budget comes in handy sometimes. I'm trying to keep a positive spin on this! Simply strolled around the sweater and deco areas, called a few friends then like a good girl, took my sorry a@@ home.... See? I CAN be good Santa! How many more days til I can get a paycheck and start Christmas shopping?

I'm in a poetic mood today. Been reading an interesting book, "Poetry as Spiritual Practice". It has little exercises inside just like the creative writing classes I had in school soooo long ago. Don't ask when, I really don't like to think about the years.. anyway. I have created a little poem for my mom. We've had our ups and downs and now we're talking and getting along at a time when the rest of my life is falling apart. Is that intentional? Does life only let so many aspects go well at a time? It really appears that way. At any rate, I am so thankful she is back in my life. And so, here it is: And it's mine, so if you copy it, credit me properly.... thanks! Karma will get you... It really will!!! Arrgh argghhh... The Gift I live my life without my father Guiding my way through life’s door. In place God has given me a loving mother To heal the heart that father has tore. Her love blows forth like an Ocean Breeze Lightens my heart which anger heats...

Why did I even open the box in the first place? I woke up in a blah mood. The kind which can keep my in bed for the entire day at times. So sad I know, but I'm still having depression flashbacks. Anyhoo, after I had a few welcome sips of my coffee and attempt at meditation, I had the idea of hanging a frame I finished last night. Only one problem, I didn't have a picture to go inside. That started it all. Two photo albums later, I still couldn't find anything large enough or worthy enough to go inside, so I did the next obvious thing- started going through my old sketches and paintings. I sooo should have known better! This involved the better part of 20 minutes down memory lane- 2 exes, various moods, and then it hit me- I needed to get into a certain box for a picture I was certain was inside. Yeah, right. Brilliant idea! Problem with that? Said box was bricked up under my "side Table" next to the sofa. Don't think this is a problem? w...

Happy Saturday to all out there in the wide crazy world! I am a little disoriented after having pulled an all nighter and then sleeping in the middle of the day like a cat. And on that lovely segue, I beg you all to check out this hysterical cat vid. *disclaimer- am a total dufus and have NO idea how to insert the actual vid clip, so you gotta check it out manaully. Really sorry! But I promise,,, it's sooo worth it! I peed so hard and practically nasal vomited! (not really, but the urge was there!) http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/video/video.php?v=1083116116841&ref=nf Ok, apparently it doesnt work!! sorry all. try going to Videos Posted by Hamouch Zayed It's the crazy cats... Now on to Netflix and Pinot! Sweet dreams!

Hello Ladies! Okay, my first TMI Thursday isn't really about me, it's more about the post I just gave. But after my daily lesson at Madame LiLu's House of Instruction in all things bizarre, pee-inducing, and just generally Hysterical, I had to make a link. So, It's time to embarrass yourselves and my time to basically make my mother understand why she is possibly NEVER getting munchkins from me. here goes Oh, If I offend anyone.... Too bad! Get over it! Artificial Virginity Hymen USD 29.90 No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back anytime. Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable. Its easy to use, clinically proven non-toxic to human and has no side effects, no pain to use an...

Happy Thursday all! Didn't sleep much last night- rather, between 4 and 5:30am... If I don't get a job soon, I'm going to turn into a vampire! Really. And on that ever so lovely note, my good friend "J" just sent me this hilarious email. You have to think of the funny in it as well as the desperation for some women that there's even a market for something like this! Some people were wanting it to surprise their guys? WTF? I don't think I would but that's just me. Thought I've seen every toy out there. Okay, it's more of an emergency kit, but still..... ? You decide. I'm having a prob with the whole link a pic thingie, so the actual link to the page is below... Yeah, I am soooo NOT a techie! Enjoy! ............. .................... ....................... ............................ ........ The Artificial Virginity Hymen Kit has been causing a legit uproar in Egypt. What...

Ok, it's official. the scale is going UP! And I was doing so very well not so long ago. Unfortunately, I've got this comfort food issue to deal with and right now it's ice cream. I can't even explain it. I've avoided it for so long, haven't really even craved it til recently. First, it was just a little pint. Nothing bad. A few days went by, I went to the gym, no prob. A week later... another one. And another.... and... SHIT! The scale went up 8 lbs! Ok, I can now officially freak out. I know better than this. Time for action. (no, not purging. hmm, Does it really work? ) naw, too gross. NO, 4am workout in living room. yes, 50 crunches, 30 lifts, and countless plies. Think I prefer the purging! Tomorrow I think it's going to be a hellish run at the gym. And I hate to run! DAMN!!!!! Till next week.. freakin' cookies and cream! I need a job quick before I end up look like mrs. Claus! And that is NOT going to happen! Good nite beauties!!!

Good Morning everyone! It's a lovely and slow rainy day which I absolutely adore! The sky is very grey over the burnished treetops, lending everything a softer haze. Days like this feel like Sundays to me. You know, where all you want to do is curl up in the oldest, most comfortable clothes you have and snuggle on the couch with a cup of tea and watch movies all day while any pets do likewise? And me without a cat! Nothing's perfect!! I'm expecting company which is the ONLY reason I am running around cleaning now. I don't want to and really, it's not that bad. But when you have friends over who haven't been around in a while, you don't want them to think you're a TOTAL slob. Even if it's just a rug that needs vacuuming. For me, it's the dust. A lot of odd dust. But it's more than the lite sprinkling of powdery stuff... oh no! It's the formation of actual stuff! The dreaded DUST BUNNY!!!! I've always been shocked to discover the mo...

Ok, resume writing really is worse than absolutely anything on earth! I mean, you get to intentionally dissect your poor self over and over and over.. sigh. until you really can't think of another way to describe payroll! Well, I get to do this now. Since I have decided to reenter the job hunt now and actually change careers, I also have to update the dreaded resume. After the humiliation, no, sweet dear help , from a veeeerrry good friend, it was subjected to more red marks than any English paper EVER was in school. Like I can remember back that far! Anyhoo, Now my assignment is to fix all the red marks and create it anew. Grrr! One section at a time, he said! No shit! It has taken me a better portion of the day and night to simply cut and paste sections around, bullet point the good stuff, then , decide how to rewrite the first part. I am so braindead that wine was desperately needed. Thank all heavens I have two bottles, I am sooo going to need it all by the time I'm done......

Well, Spent most of the day ignoring reality thanks to wine overdosing last night. Rainy days tend give me all sorts of excuses to stay inside. After all, who wants to navigate the winds, heavy rains and really insane drivers? All on the same day, that is. Now, driving in Michigan can be as much fun as a root canal on the best of days, what with the suicide pedestrians darting out in front of your car JUST AS YOU PAST BY... Then there are the last second drivers who suddenly remembered that they really needed to cut you off and then turn left, even though you are going 70 on the freeway. But my all-time favorite would have to be last night while on the way for the aforementioned wine... I was already running late which is never good. You know that you are bound to break at least a few traffic laws already and are on the alert for you-know-who. well, surface streets were fine, all the way up to '75 s-Detroit'... then I saw him. At least I think it was a he... Just at the entran...

Hello Everyone! Okay, for starters, I am absolutely listening to my horoscope and not setting foot outdoors. (except for the tiny trip out to the mailbox--that was necessary, there was NETFLIX) So, here I am looking at the clock and realizing that I should get my flabby rear up off the bench and get dressed.... Meaning workout clothes you perv! I already look rather cute now.. But I don't want to go outside... Really I don't ! For one feeble excuse... the "service engine" light has been on again and it is freaking me out! When you're unemployed, the thought of mechanical bills can throw you straight to the nearest bar for a verrrrrry strong Margarita. And I can't go do that tonite, so here I sit. Well, I do have an impressive collection of workout videos...hmmm. dunno. Can't help thinking of feeble ex. Really do miss talking to him. Dammmit! I guess there were good things between us, but seriously? the anger and violent issue just tops the list of "wh...

It's 1:30 in the Morning and I am STILL so awake. Perhaps the blizzard 55 minute cardio session wasn't the greatest idea at 10pm. But what else does a single girl do on a Tuesday night without spending money? So, here I am - dying over blogs. Just finished with Live It, Love It. Practically had to run to the bathroom and pee... Would not have been nice on the recently upholstered bench I'm perched on. My neighbors must think I'm insane. Laughed hysterically. Well, like a hyena really, but you weren't here, thankfully. Were those too many commas? My spelling/punctuation dwindled in the wee hours. The gym is such a nice second home to have. You get to play with all sorts of toys and someone else cleans them up nice and pretty for the next day (wait, don't yell at me- I DO wipe down my machines!!!!) BTW, that brings me to a peeve of mine. One that should have people thrown in dungeons... Not wiping down machines or benches after you sweat or drizzle all over them! ...

Part of my renovation project extends to my home. Redecorating with a zero budget is oh so much fun! Tonight I had the brilliant idea of hanging curtains. Or so I thought It started with one curtain left over from the store. It's a rich red and a bit overwhelming for my tiny space but I figured that I could use the color. So, away to the window I went. Then one thing led to another, and having no curtain rod led me to rethink the red curtain idea. But there WAS a beautiful gold fabric. Thumb tacks are my favorite way to hang anything. And I do mean, Anything! Unfortunately, One side is lopsided, there is a curve to consider. They hang a bit too short on the ends and the second fabric pieces(plum) just needed help. 2 hours and countless dropped tacks later, it's up. Sort of. Because now I am picking apart the thousand reasons it should not even be up there. GRRRR.... Although it does add a bit of drama to my room. So, I'll leave it up for a few days, perhaps I'll come a...

Hello World! So, I'm sitting here in Michigan watching the rain come down and trying to find a new job. Such a fun task with the rest of the state doing the same! At least it keeps my brain from thinking about my ex. We were together for two years when he dropped the breakup bomb. No, I did NOT take that very well. I was in love and had thought it was mutual. Needless to say, it wasn't. Found out all sorts of interesting facts about his 'friendships' later. Sigh.... How do you truly know when it's right to trust someone with your heart? I have this excellent habit of choosing the exactly wrong person for that. I am very loyal and devoted and when I do fall, it's hard as h"". Now it's over, I found my own place and when I get my own job with matching paycheck, I will be better. Til then, it's unemployment roulette... Must go for now. Car is demanding attention now. Service Engine Light went on again. Had it looked at two weeks ago and here it i...

Hello world! This is the beginning episode of "Hopefull Phoenix". It is a little journal of a heart getting her life back together. I know, the name is a bit strange, but I kept thinking of the Phoenix for the past few weeks. A mythical bird who willing put itself in the fires of destruction to be reborn better than ever. That's how I feel. (or how I intend to feel/become)... hence, the Hopefull part. Who am I? Good question. A 41 year old designer who just broke the remaining ties to a veeeerrry volatile ex-boyfriend. We had a business together and well, he just wasn't as trustworthy of my heart as I thought. So, here I am, unemployed, single, freaked out (mildly), and working on who I am now. This might be a long post today, sorry to all. Feel like I need to get this out! So I will break this up into two parts today. I don't like reading long posts myself, so why should I subject you guys to that? Farewell til later! Hopefull Phoenix